I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
