wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
