Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
