At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
