You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
