ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
