Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize