On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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