I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
