There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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