you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
