What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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