it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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