please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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