Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
