You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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