Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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