was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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