I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
