If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
