Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
