Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
