just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
