I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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