fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
