Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
