i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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