At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize