Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
even my farts smell like vagina
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Im part way to drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
