I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
