I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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