Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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