his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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