One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
