problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
