we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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