New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I would fuck him just for his dog
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
