i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
