You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
