Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
