if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
