he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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