Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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