had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
