i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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