i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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