you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She needs sedatives and a leash
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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