Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
