I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I supernannyed him into submission
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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