I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize