does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
