this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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