Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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