ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
