google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
