I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
