Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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