OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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