in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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