You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
