then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
