I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
